When The Holidays Aren't So Jolly

With Christmas just a few days away, it is the busiest time of year for shoppers getting last minute gifts, parents taking their children to see mall Santa's to get the perfect picture for their Christmas card and families coming together for parties, laughs and treats. For some, Christmas is the most magical and happiest time of year. Christmas is the time of year they look forward to most.

For some, Christmas is the hardest time of year. For some, Christmas is a reminder of loss as they try to get through the holiday season without their loved ones. For some, Christmas is a gigantic pressure to make sure they can still make ends meet while making sure they've gotten gifts for everyone on their list. Bank accounts and pockets just dollars away from despair. People wondering how they will pay their heating bill and still give their kids the best Christmas possible.

For many, Christmas time is a reminder of the blessings received throughout the year and the ones promised in the next year to come. For others, it is wondering where their next meal is coming from while trying to find the warmest spot in the park to spend a below freezing night.

It is hard to remain as holly jolly as the carols tell us we are supposed to be. It is hard to not feel guilty when you are leaving the mall with bags in hand and you see a ragged man on the side of the freeway with tattered clothes, torn gloves and a damp cardboard sign with all of his belongings in a backpack asking for anything you can spare. It is hard to feel like you deserve your blessings when you hear on the news of the drunk driver that kills a child's parents just days before Christmas. It is hard to feel that joy when there are kids who won't be getting anything for Christmas, anything for dinner or even living to see the new year.

We all work and earn the blessings we receive, but it is hard to feel like we are worthy of them when we see those that aren't as fortunate. It's hard when your desire to help them is so strong, but you yourself are working hard and living pay check to pay check to provide for yourself or your family or both.

Christmas is hard, but Christmas is also so happy. It is hard for the families that aren't able to spend Christmas together. For the ones over seas, the ones with angels watching over them, the ones with broken families. It is hard to feel jolly when deep down below the egg nog and gingerbread cookies, you feel lost and dark and like you don't deserve what you have. Though, it is so happy when you realize how blessed you are to live to see another Christmas. To have a warm house to come home to, a Christmas ham on the table and presents under the tree. It is hard to feel the guilt of having so much when some people have so little.

For those dealing with depression and anxiety during this holiday season, the pressure to feel jolly can almost feel unbearable. It can be hard to have the motivation to get out of bed and put on a smiling face. To head to your job where stressed out people are trying to make ends meet for another holiday season and let it rub off on you. It is hard to imagine what trials and tribulations another year might bring you.

For those showered in blessings this holiday season, take the time to think about what other's who aren't as blessed might feel. As you leave the grocery store with bags full of staples for your Christmas feast, share some with the man on the side of the freeway. As you pass around gifts to all your family members, take a moment to pray for those who don't get to be with their family. As you smile and laugh through the ice skating, sledding and caroling, think of those you struggle to be as happy as you.

It can be easy to get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, but please remember those out there who are not as fortunate as you are this Christmas. Keep those in your mind, you thoughts and your prayers who don't find Christmas as jolly as you do. Don't think of all the presents you will unwrap come Christmas morning, think about the gift that you have a winter coat, a bed to sleep in and a happy heart. That is what Christmas is all about.

I hope everyone has a merry and blessed Christmas and that 2017 is full of more blessings than you know. Everyone deserves blessings. Even if Christmas isn't so jolly for you this year, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one simply remembers to turn the light on.

-XO Sydney Lauren

My Vote Wasn't an Option on the Ballot

The day after an election has always been a time to reflect on the past and look forward to the future. However, when I woke up this morning and did my daily social media check I was disgusted to see what America has come to. No, I wasn't disgusted by who believes who was the right choice for the new President. I was disgusted to see that America is more full of hate than it ever has been. I see people posting on Facebook asking for people who voted for Trump to delete them as friends because that means you open sexual assault, racism and inequality, but aren't they doing the same thing?  Your vote does not define your character nor does it dictate what you believe.

It was my first year to vote this year and I was disappointed in the choices before me that I somehow had to be okay with choosing. My reason for voting did not lie in the fact that I think my voice didn't matter, it didn't rest upon me being lazy or feeling like any of the candidates were qualified to run the country. I didn't vote because there wasn't the option of love and acceptance on the ballot. No where on the ballot did it give the option to check "acceptance, support, safety and love for all Americans."

This country was built on a melting pot of people. In my eyes, no one is more important or more valuable than anyone else no matter your race, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation or size of your paycheck. The people around me that wanted Hillary to win are so full of hate towards Donald Trump and his supporters and vice versa. Isn't that being hypocritical? No matter who the president is, we wake up and make the conscious choice every single day to be positive, spread love, remain respectful of differences and accept that we don't always have the power to make the choices we think should be made. Our nation has become so blindsided from this election that we can't seem to get a grasp on how amazing America actually is. Women are allowed to leave their house, we are allowed to write and say whatever we want, we are allowed to freely practice our religion of choice when and how we want to. There isn't another place like that in the world and right now it is so full of hatred. We control who America is, not the president. We make the decision to either fill this nation with love or bring it down with our hatred. It's not going to be the president that is our demise. It's going to be the American people. Hate will end us before decisions the president makes does.

We may not have the best outcome or be in the best situation right now, but as Americans we were given the freedom to make this nation whatever we want it to be. We were given the right to wake up everyday and make our own decisions. So let whoever you voted for be one for a nation full of happiness in hardships, laughter when life falls apart and love event there are obvious differences from the person sitting next to you on the bus. Choose to see that person as an American just like yourself and nothing less.

Instead of fretting over who voted for who, choose to vote for love, happiness and acceptance.  Choose to make the best of the situation you were given. Teach your children to treat people fairly no matter what they look like. Remind women that they are not defined by the size of their chest or by the man who thinks her body belongs to them. Teach your peers that honesty is the best policy and to never lie or deceive for that just creates hatred among you. And most importantly, teach yourself to have a heart and mind that only dispenses love. We don't have any more room in this nation for hatred to go, so get that out of our country. Lets build a wall so the hatred can't get in because that's not what America is about. Lets make America great again by coming together, holding hands and getting through the hardships these years might hold no matter who our president is.

XO- Sydney Lauren

The Mario Kart Diaries

When you're little, everyone tells you that you can grow up and be whatever you want and do whatever you want. What no one tells you is that it's not that easy. It's not that simple. Remember playing Mario Kart and thinking you were in first place, until you realized you were looking at the wrong screen and actually crashing into walls? That's adulthood.

Aside from emails to professors, essays on articles by people with names I can't even pronounce and writing hypothetical news stories I haven't written for myself in so long. I started to feel like no one cared to read what I put so much effort into. It started to feel like a chore. So many bloggers these days are based primarily off of their Instagram followings. They have a base of people that want to see their outfit of the day, the newest trend in makeup or the latest hair tutorial for beach babe curls. I didn't want to be that blogger, but I felt like that's all people wanted to read. Mind you, you don't even have to read to see your favorite bloggers newest Nordstrom purchase. I felt like I was just rambling on the Internet for my family to read.

Many people asked me, "When are you going to blog again?" Mostly family, but those are my biggest fans. I got discouraged because I wanted to write to a larger audience. I wanted my words to spread like a wildfire to people who needed words to lift them up. I didn't want to be a blogger who's purpose was to flaunt my not so perfect life and make people feel like that's how life should be. I wanted to be real, but I started to lose inspiration. With everything going on in life, it felt like one more thing to cross off my to do list. The pressure got to me. Instead of doing it for myself which is what I started this blog for, it became about wanting to get more views and more likes. I started to overthink and put too much thought into what I was going to write about that was going to attract more views It's disgusting that I let my worth and talent be measured by likes, thumbs up or hearts on my posts.

Aside from what posts, statuses, Snapchat stories or Instagram might show, my life is not perfect. I am stuck in black hole of wondering if what I'm doing or where I'm at in my life is where I am supposed to be. One minute, you have it all planned out from your career to your future wedding thanks to Pinterest. The next minute, you are contemplating dropping out of school because you get a C on a paper you worked on for three weeks.

Adulthood is probably one of the scariest choices I have ever made. After just recently entering my 20s, I am already going through a crisis. I am wondering if this is where I want to live, this is the career I want to choose, this is the way I want to look. Every single day I struggle with my decisions because the decisions I'm making right now potentially determine the rest of my life. Growing up, you think you just get the career of your choice, the life of your choice. They made you think you could just say "I want to be a fireman" and that you would just wake up one day and be a fireman. They never told you that you would have to go through the toughest times of your life to get there.

Truth of the matter is, I like who I am when I'm writing. I feel confident, I feel sure and I feel like I'm doing something right. I was never the person who was good at much. I tried lots of things throughout my life soccer, softball, volleyball, basketball, dance and even art. I never felt like I was good at anything until I started to write. Now I realize that you become an adult when you find out what you're good at and what you like and do not care for a single minute who's going to judge you for that.

So if you feel like you're crashing into walls right now, you're not alone. You'll probably crash into 3436 more walls along the way. You may want to die your hair purple, move to Hawaii and become a vegetarian all before you figure out your life but that's fine because you'll end up winning first place on Rainbow Road no matter how many tries it takes.

P.S. if you are having a crisis after entering your 20s, read the book 101 Secrets For Your Twenties by Paul Agone and embrace the hot mess express that you are.

XO- Sydney Lauren

How To Be A Boss Babe 101

I have recently just wrapped up my summer internship at Good Things Utah and I'm sharing with you some of the career tips I've learned thus far. This is my advice on how to rock social media, jumpstart your career, be successful in an internship and all around get on track to being a boss babe.

As a millennial, our generation literally has the power to do anything. We can become noticed from a viral video on Facebook or a perfectly picturesque Instagram account. It is so much easier than you think to accomplish far fetched dreams these days. I have had so many people ask me, "How did you land an internship at Good Things Utah?" or " I'm so jealous you are doing that." Here is the secret people, put yourself out there. Believe it or not, I found information on my internship through Instagram. It's crazy and also so wonderful what social media can bring to us these days. I have really kick started my career plan by putting myself out there and here's my rules to become a millennial boss babe.

1. Look for opportunities EVERYWHERE.

Like I said, I found my internship through Instagram. In getting involved with Channel 4, I have had the opportunity to be on TV myself, work the Bachelor/ Bachelorette casting call and walk in a fashion show at City Creek. This happened all because I sent a quick email. There are many other opportunities I have in the works that I have come across from Instagram accounts. Not all career paths can benefit from this, but social media is key. Networking is key. Even if you get shut down, you still put your name out there. From these experiences, you gain connections, references and resume builders.

2. You've got to work your way up.

I've mentioned before that being an intern is really not all that glamorous. I grew up watching Lauren Conrad on The Hills. All internships are not like hopping on a plane to pick up a designer dress in the heart of New York City. At one point in my internship, I had to drive 30 minutes out of my way at 7 am to pick up crescent rolls in the most ghetto Walmart I've ever seen. Mind you, I do not get paid. Disclaimer : You don't get to say no when you are an intern. You nod, smile and say yes no matter how put out or annoyed you may be. You are on the bottom of the totem pole, but I promise it will pay off in 10 years when you are the one that gets to boss interns around.

3. Confidence is key.

This should probably be #1. Throughout most of my teenage years, I struggled with self confidence. I always wanted to be the one no one noticed. I spent so much time trying to fly under the radar. After some self discovery and self realization, I realized how much better my life got after I developed confidence. I used to be afraid to ask someone a question in the store or call someone on the phone. Now, I am the one asking strangers to take pictures for me and striking up a conversation with the cashier in the grocery store. Confidence is the best accessory you could ever wear. Even if you have no idea what you are doing (me most of the time), confidence gets you so far.

4. Research, Research, Research.

Google. Google is your best friend. When getting into a career, business or company, make sure you research. Research who is the head haunch. Who should you be smiling at in the elevator? Before any interview, I Facebook stalk. I even Facebook stalk my professors. Get educated. Gain knowledge so you know what you are getting yourself into. You are more likely to gain approval and make people like you when you know what you're talking about.

5. Your image matters more than you think.

In the age of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram you can find out almost everything you want to know about someone with just one click of a button. Trust me, when I got my roommate assignment email for my apartment I immediately hop on Facebook like I work for the freakin CIA. My tip is be professional. Don't ever put anything on social media that you wouldn't want an employer to see. It is kind of a no brainer, but you would be surprised. Always dress appropriately as well. I am all about fashion, but sometimes the trendy fashion is not appropriate for the office. Always think classy.

6. Never ever ever ever ever be late.

If there is one thing I learned from being an intern, is that being late is not tolerated. I am a very on time person. I consider on time as being 10 or 15 minutes early. It really makes a lasting impression. My tip for making sure you are on time: If you have to be there at 8:00 am, tell yourself you have to be there at 7:45 am or you will be late. In grain in your mind a time that is earlier than when you have to be there. Don't snooze your alarm. Being on time every single day will give you a gold star almost no matter what.

7. Dreams take work.

One of the most ironic comments I have heard someone make is that they will never work for someone. You literally can't get anywhere unless you start from the bottom. No one is going to scout you out to work for them. If you want to be a part of a company or a business or have a certain career, it is your prerogative. The second I knew what I wanted to do with my professional life, I jumped right in to the opportunity pool. The greater head start you get, the quicker you can make your dreams a reality.


8. Develop relationships with everyone.

Make friends with everyone. Say good morning and hello to everyone you walk by in the morning. Become a face people will remember. It all goes back to networking. If you can maintain relationships and friendships with everyone, it will come back to benefit you in the long run. You never know when you are going to need a job or a letter of recommendation. It's better for them to say, "Oh I remember her, she was always so friendly." than to say "Now who was that again?"

9. Be indispensable.

I read a book during my internship that talked about being a linchpin. A linchpin is defined as a person or a thing vital to an enterprise or an organization. This is what you should strive for. Throughout my internship my motto was " What can I do that will make everyone think, what will we do when she is gone?" You want your boss to be begging for you to stay because that means you made a lasting impression. In order to achieve that goal, you have to be okay with discomfort.  One of my favorite quotes from the book I read is, " The road to comfort is crowded and it rarely gets you there. Ironically, it is those who seek discomfort that are able to make a difference and find their footing."

I know you are probably thinking, what does a 19 year old know about careers? Truthfully, not much. I am hoping this post helps out everyone my age who is figuring out what they want to do and how they can do it. This is for anyone who wondered how I landed such an awesome internship. Anyone who dreams of being a boss babe like me, this is for you. Hope it helps!

XO- Sydney Lauren

Why Self Respect Makes You Prettier

This post is definitely long overdue. I took some time off of writing on here because 1. This summer has been a whirlwind and hasn't given me much inspiration in the meantime. 2. I've been writing web stories like at mad women at Good Things Utah  so I got sick of staring at the words on the computer  3. I needed time to re motivate and re inspire myself. If you noticed, I also revamped the look and title of my blog. If one thing is true about me, it is that my mind is always turning its gears for the next piece of inspo.

This topic is near and dear to my heart because I am a powerful, independent woman who focuses a big part of my life and future career on the premise of social media. I am quickly becoming a social media guru. I swear I think about content, pictures, captions, clever headlines and the peak times to post in my sleep. Believe it or not, it is a lot more complicated than you might think. As a millennial, I wasn't necessarily raised with social media as a platform throughout my whole childhood, but I went through my teenage years along side my followers on MySpace, Facebook and Twitter. However, I see through the lens of what social media is doing to me and those a few years younger than me.

Self respect. Self worth. Those two qualities make the top of my list for the most important. As I've grown and developed into the woman I am today these four words have remained engrained in my mind. I have chosen role models such as Audrey Hepburn and Faith Hill to look up to. What I have noticed in my observation of the way girls and women are evolving is that we are losing our self respect. We are losing our desire to be classy. If there is one goal I set out to strive for, it is to remain classy. As women, we have so much potential to work together to bring up a positive environment where we don't feel like we are going to be judged if we don't wear makeup to school or get the most likes on an Instagram photo. We are more than capable of empowering each other to respect ourselves and our bodies. To cherish the body and mind that we were given on this earth to use for amazing things. Posting scandalous photos on Snapchat where your chest is the center of it all is not what our gender was meant to be doing. We live in a generation where it is possible for women to vote. It is possible for women to become the President. It is possible for women to serve on the front line of our military. It is possible for women to do anything they wish to do.

So instead of flaunting the shortest shorts you could buy from the mall or sleeping with the entire football team, hold yourself to a standard of decency and grace. Hold yourself to the standard that in 2016 it is possible for women to do anything and everything. Our bodies are capable of housing a human being for petes sake, so why is it so hard to respect it? It hurts my heart for the people who can't seem to figure that out. The sad truth to it is social media.

Girls are being taught that without 300 likes on an Instagram photo and 25 retweets on your selfie on Twitter, that you mean nothing. That you're invisible. That you don't matter. Our girls are being taught that you get more attention by wearing more makeup and wearing less clothing. Instead of being taught the value of true beauty, our girls are being taught to live their standards based on the click of a button or lack there of. We need to be teaching these girls that who they are is the most amazing thing there ever will be. We need to be teaching them to be comfortable in their own skin whether that skin be freckled, pale, tan, black, white or even rainbow. When I think someone is beautiful, is when they respect themselves. I look up to women around me that carry themselves with an air of confidence, but remained poised. I look up to the women that look beautiful without having to show the world what is underneath their clothes or douse themselves in makeup. I look up to the women that demand respect from men in friendships, relationships and even by strangers. I look up to women that respect the amazing people they are without having to convince other people of it.

This is such a passionate subject for me because I have younger sisters. I have watched them grow and go through the growing pains of trying to fit in. I have seen them struggle wanting to get the attention they deserve. I myself went through it. It truly is a hard time in this world to be growing up and changing right before the eyes of all your followers. But if there is one thing I wish I could go back and tell myself is that you don't need to pretend to be someone you aren't. You don't need to vie for the attention of a guy that only wants you for one reason. Find yourself. Fall in love with who you are and I promise the best guy will follow it. Once you've accomplished loving yourself, you will find what you love to do. You will find what makes you happy. You will find your friends, what you like and don't like and you will find what makes you special.

Treating your body and your mind like the priceless commodity it is will only give you exuberate benefits in the end. I can't stress this enough that the more you respect yourself and your body, the more people will respect you. The more people will admire you and look up to you which is what the women of the millennial generation and generations to come need most in this society. It's a hard journey to find self love, but I promise it is worth every step. True beauty radiates from self love, self respect and self worth. This world is full of incredible opportunities for women so don't waste it. You only need your own approval.

XO- Sydney Lauren

This Is What Dreams Are Made Of

We spend our whole lives planning for the future.
We create scenarios in our heads of what the perfect life will be.
We think we will have Sunday walks in the park with our dogs.
We think we will have the perfect little house on Mulberry street with the perfect husband and the perfect family. We think we will have the perfect 9-5 job with weekends and holidays off and paid vacations.
We plan it as if figuring it out will soften the blow. 

The future. Home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes, but one thing is for certain that when it finally reveals itself, the future is never they way we imagined it.

Growing up I always wanted to be a mom, an artist and of course a teacher cause what 10 year old doesn't want to be a teacher? I recall at one point my little sister saying she wanted to be a cashier. We all have these dreams and aspirations for "when we grow up, " but once we're grown up does it rarely go the way our 10 year old selves planned for.

I never imagined I would find a love for writing. I knew I was always good at the English and reading subjects in school. I always liked to read and writing essays was a whole new challenge for me, but one that I loved. I never imagined I would be able to create a career out of that. Every single day I am shocked by the opportunities that present themselves to me. However, they don't jump out on you. You expect that everything will just fall into place how it is supposed to be. You're lucky if it does. Most of the time, you have to work for it. You have to put yourself out there. Writing is seriously one of the hardest but most rewarding things I have ever done.  Often times, I get intimidated. I get worried that someone won't like my writing, won't accept it or won't think it's good. That is when I realized that I own EVERYTHING that happened to me. I am going to keep telling my stories. If people wanted me to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.

I didn't anticipate the life I'm living. No one does. It is impossible to predict the future and those $5.99 a minute psychics you see on TV infomercials can't either. I have learned you just have to go with it. You just have to roll with it and have courage that what you are doing is the right thing. Being brave has gotten me so many opportunities that I wouldn't have if I remained the shy, quiet girl most of you thought you knew me as.

Writing has brought me a whole new level of self confidence that I never knew I could possess. I write when I'm happy. I write when I'm sad. I write when I want to rip everyone's heads off. Those deep rooted fears turned into the greatest hope I could have ever imagined. If you work really hard and are kind, amazing things will happen.

If you are still reading this, which I know you are because I have almost reached 200 views on one of my posts, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading. Thank you for letting me pour my heart out, letting me practice my writing and letting me find my voice. The amount of love and support I have gotten in my ventures have been amazing and far beat out the hate I may have received.

The future is a scary thing, but it is also the most beautiful thing to have hope in a future. If I could go back and tell my high school self that everything was about to get so much better and that I would be producing my own segments and even be in front of the camera talking about my blogging I would call myself a liar, but holy crap it's true. Someone pinch me because I'm on my way to living my dream.

As most of you know, I have been interning at Good Things Utah for the past month. I have been in a literal Sydney heaven. I was made for this kind of stuff. When the producer Megan told the interns they had the opportunity to complete a project by producing our own segments I almost dropped dead. My mind immediately started wandering. I couldn't even focus on my tasks for the day because I just kept thinking about what I wanted to do. My first thought was my cousin's snow cone business. I knew that would be a safe bet because I could produce it and just sit back and watch. I didn't have to worry about making a television appearance. Then I got thinking, why wouldn't I want to experience the opportunity to be on TV? I might never get that again. I know it's just a local channel that probably only targets moms who are able to watch everyday at 9 am, but its still TV. Since GTU is a lifestyle show I immediately jumped to my writing for Her Track which is a lifestyle blog. Everything fell into place and I had a segment scheduled.

Last night, I practiced what I was going to say over and over to myself in front of the mirror. I even slept with my notecard underneath my pillow hoping it would imprint in my brain while I slept. Whenever I have anxiety, I usually have back to back dreams of everything that could go wrong in the situation. That is what happened last night. I was afraid my alarm wouldn't go off, I would have lipstick on my teeth or I would forget what I was supposed to say and resort to "um". I was so nervous when I woke up that I couldn't even eat breakfast. When I got to the studio, I pulled the rundown from the printer and saw that I would be live at the end of the show. That's when I started to sweat. I was terrified over the fact I had to stress myself out through the entire show until it was time to get a mic on me.

As soon as I heard that one minute countdown, I was afraid my words would start to slur and my voice would shake but all the sudden real, coherent, perfect words were coming out of my mouth. I was doing it exactly how I practiced in front of the mirror with zit cream on my face and all.

I have never felt so much love and support than I have today. I have worked so hard to follow my dreams and make something of myself. Hearing the sweet words from people I know and even some I don't have been enough to get me through the rest of my life. I am so grateful that I am able to be an inspiration to people throughout my inner circle and far beyond. Stay tuned to see what else I accomplish because I promise you it's going to be good.

If you want to see my big TV debut, you can follow the link to watch my segment. Shoutout to Michelle Money, my Bachelor fan obsession was satisfied today. http://www.good4utah.com/good-things-utah/gtu-featured-guest/7-things-ive-learned-from-my-parents-divorce


XO- Sydney Lauren

P.S: If when you read the title of this article Lizzie McGuire's song popped into your head, we are soul mates.

The Summer Feels

Happy June everyone 

I'm so excited to be waking up to birds chirping

rolling out of bed to see that the sun is actually up before I am

the smell of freshly cut lawn in the morning

the smell of juicy hot dogs on the grill

going to bed with campfire hair

the sticky marshmallows grasping to your fingers after the first bite of a smore

the satisfaction of tan lines after a day in the sun

the smell of the sunscreen you should have used

calloused feet from running around the blistering, summer sidewalk

bare feet because shoes are overrated

brightly colored nail polish on those bare feet

swimsuit wedgies after a dip in the pool

driving with the windows down blasting Tim McGraw

a fresh watermelon

the sun is setting and the night is just getting started

sipping dirty coke from a red and white straw

those are the summer feels and there's nothing better 
XO- Sydney Lauren