My Vote Wasn't an Option on the Ballot

The day after an election has always been a time to reflect on the past and look forward to the future. However, when I woke up this morning and did my daily social media check I was disgusted to see what America has come to. No, I wasn't disgusted by who believes who was the right choice for the new President. I was disgusted to see that America is more full of hate than it ever has been. I see people posting on Facebook asking for people who voted for Trump to delete them as friends because that means you open sexual assault, racism and inequality, but aren't they doing the same thing?  Your vote does not define your character nor does it dictate what you believe.

It was my first year to vote this year and I was disappointed in the choices before me that I somehow had to be okay with choosing. My reason for voting did not lie in the fact that I think my voice didn't matter, it didn't rest upon me being lazy or feeling like any of the candidates were qualified to run the country. I didn't vote because there wasn't the option of love and acceptance on the ballot. No where on the ballot did it give the option to check "acceptance, support, safety and love for all Americans."

This country was built on a melting pot of people. In my eyes, no one is more important or more valuable than anyone else no matter your race, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation or size of your paycheck. The people around me that wanted Hillary to win are so full of hate towards Donald Trump and his supporters and vice versa. Isn't that being hypocritical? No matter who the president is, we wake up and make the conscious choice every single day to be positive, spread love, remain respectful of differences and accept that we don't always have the power to make the choices we think should be made. Our nation has become so blindsided from this election that we can't seem to get a grasp on how amazing America actually is. Women are allowed to leave their house, we are allowed to write and say whatever we want, we are allowed to freely practice our religion of choice when and how we want to. There isn't another place like that in the world and right now it is so full of hatred. We control who America is, not the president. We make the decision to either fill this nation with love or bring it down with our hatred. It's not going to be the president that is our demise. It's going to be the American people. Hate will end us before decisions the president makes does.

We may not have the best outcome or be in the best situation right now, but as Americans we were given the freedom to make this nation whatever we want it to be. We were given the right to wake up everyday and make our own decisions. So let whoever you voted for be one for a nation full of happiness in hardships, laughter when life falls apart and love event there are obvious differences from the person sitting next to you on the bus. Choose to see that person as an American just like yourself and nothing less.

Instead of fretting over who voted for who, choose to vote for love, happiness and acceptance.  Choose to make the best of the situation you were given. Teach your children to treat people fairly no matter what they look like. Remind women that they are not defined by the size of their chest or by the man who thinks her body belongs to them. Teach your peers that honesty is the best policy and to never lie or deceive for that just creates hatred among you. And most importantly, teach yourself to have a heart and mind that only dispenses love. We don't have any more room in this nation for hatred to go, so get that out of our country. Lets build a wall so the hatred can't get in because that's not what America is about. Lets make America great again by coming together, holding hands and getting through the hardships these years might hold no matter who our president is.

XO- Sydney Lauren

The Mario Kart Diaries

When you're little, everyone tells you that you can grow up and be whatever you want and do whatever you want. What no one tells you is that it's not that easy. It's not that simple. Remember playing Mario Kart and thinking you were in first place, until you realized you were looking at the wrong screen and actually crashing into walls? That's adulthood.

Aside from emails to professors, essays on articles by people with names I can't even pronounce and writing hypothetical news stories I haven't written for myself in so long. I started to feel like no one cared to read what I put so much effort into. It started to feel like a chore. So many bloggers these days are based primarily off of their Instagram followings. They have a base of people that want to see their outfit of the day, the newest trend in makeup or the latest hair tutorial for beach babe curls. I didn't want to be that blogger, but I felt like that's all people wanted to read. Mind you, you don't even have to read to see your favorite bloggers newest Nordstrom purchase. I felt like I was just rambling on the Internet for my family to read.

Many people asked me, "When are you going to blog again?" Mostly family, but those are my biggest fans. I got discouraged because I wanted to write to a larger audience. I wanted my words to spread like a wildfire to people who needed words to lift them up. I didn't want to be a blogger who's purpose was to flaunt my not so perfect life and make people feel like that's how life should be. I wanted to be real, but I started to lose inspiration. With everything going on in life, it felt like one more thing to cross off my to do list. The pressure got to me. Instead of doing it for myself which is what I started this blog for, it became about wanting to get more views and more likes. I started to overthink and put too much thought into what I was going to write about that was going to attract more views It's disgusting that I let my worth and talent be measured by likes, thumbs up or hearts on my posts.

Aside from what posts, statuses, Snapchat stories or Instagram might show, my life is not perfect. I am stuck in black hole of wondering if what I'm doing or where I'm at in my life is where I am supposed to be. One minute, you have it all planned out from your career to your future wedding thanks to Pinterest. The next minute, you are contemplating dropping out of school because you get a C on a paper you worked on for three weeks.

Adulthood is probably one of the scariest choices I have ever made. After just recently entering my 20s, I am already going through a crisis. I am wondering if this is where I want to live, this is the career I want to choose, this is the way I want to look. Every single day I struggle with my decisions because the decisions I'm making right now potentially determine the rest of my life. Growing up, you think you just get the career of your choice, the life of your choice. They made you think you could just say "I want to be a fireman" and that you would just wake up one day and be a fireman. They never told you that you would have to go through the toughest times of your life to get there.

Truth of the matter is, I like who I am when I'm writing. I feel confident, I feel sure and I feel like I'm doing something right. I was never the person who was good at much. I tried lots of things throughout my life soccer, softball, volleyball, basketball, dance and even art. I never felt like I was good at anything until I started to write. Now I realize that you become an adult when you find out what you're good at and what you like and do not care for a single minute who's going to judge you for that.

So if you feel like you're crashing into walls right now, you're not alone. You'll probably crash into 3436 more walls along the way. You may want to die your hair purple, move to Hawaii and become a vegetarian all before you figure out your life but that's fine because you'll end up winning first place on Rainbow Road no matter how many tries it takes.

P.S. if you are having a crisis after entering your 20s, read the book 101 Secrets For Your Twenties by Paul Agone and embrace the hot mess express that you are.

XO- Sydney Lauren