Purpose

It has been weird. I am still trying to get used to the whole blogger responsibility. I haven't posted in awhile because I have been suffering from a bad case of writers block. I don't want to just write about anything because that's what a diary is for. I want to write about something meaningful and inspirational that is worth the time that people take to read my stuff. Granted my biggest fan might be my dad who checks my site every single day to see if I have updated it. But hey, you've got to start somewhere. In all honesty, I have felt discouraged. I want my work to get out there and attract attention of people who need to hear my words of encouragement and inspiration. I am starting an Instagram page to put myself and my blog out there. I am a little nervous because I am scared of the feedback I might receive. I don't want to be disappointed when people don't care about my writing as much as I hoped they would. However, I know I will feel success even if I can just touch the life of one person with my little corner of the internet.

When I was a little girl, my answer to the question " What do you want to be when you grow up?" changed every time. At one point, it was an artist and I spent time with an art easel I got for Christmas. I played with that whim for awhile until I realized my drawings looked like potato people. Then, it moved on to Marine Biologist. I had a dream of becoming a trainer at Sea World and fantasized about swimming with dolphins. My grandma gave me a few books she had hoarded on marine biology and ocean life. I quickly became disinterested when I saw the anatomy and reproduction of whiles and realized I would have to move away from my family if I wanted to make that dream come true. My third grade self did not find that to be a novel concept. A year or two later, the answer to that question would have been an Astronomer. I grew a fascination for the last frontier and space exploration when I got a book from my elementary school book fair. Notice all of these whims usually come from my obsession with reading. The tales of my dreams of astronomy came to a tragic end when I found out Santa wasn't real. I asked for a telescope for Christmas, found it in the back of my mom's car, then woke up on Christmas morning to find it was from Santa. To my dismay, my dreams of Santa and being an Astronmer were crushed. We returned that stupid telescope a few days after Christmas. I believe the next dream on my list was a fashion designer. From middle school on I quickly became obsessed with fashion. It seemed like the dream job. I even started a sketch book of designs cut out of scrap book paper and stickers. I dreamed of living in New York and designing the things you see walking down the runway. Again, that dream vanished when I realized that its not an easy field to succeed in and again I would have to move away from my family. As high school came around, I avoided the thought and the question of what I wanted to be loomed in my mind as college grew closer. How could I make a decision when I changed my mind almost every year growing up? My junior year in high school, I participated in the preschool lab my school offered. I was immediately in love with the children and the aspect of teaching. When I finally made a decision on the college I was choosing to attending following graduation, I thought I had a pretty solid plan. I decided on Early Childhood Education and I even spoke with a counselor at UVU about the classes i was scheduled to take in the fall.  In that meeting, the advisor said a few words to me that halted all thoughts in my mind, "Do you really want to do this or is this just your default choice?" On the drive home, I thought to myself, could I really wake up every single day and be excited to teach? Not to mention, the pay is not ideal for the amount of work and dedication that goes into that. The answer was no. It takes a special kind of person to be that dedicated . That wasn't for me. I just didn't have an answer on what direction I wanted to take for my future.

To conclude those thoughts, I made the decision to just begin my freshman year of college taking general education requirements. I knew how badly I wanted to impact and inspire people to do something good in this world, I just couldn't quite put my finger on what I wanted to do. All i knew was that i wanted to be important. After a January trip to Park City to star gaze at the Sundance Film Festival, I had a revelation. I knew i somehow wanted to be involved with influential people in big amounts. I quickly jetted over to Google to do some research. This is when I came across Public Relations. It felt like an epiphany. This was exactly what I wanted to do. For my whole life, I have always had a strength in writing. I have kept journals since I learned how to write. I knew I could do something special and channel myself through my words. And that's what I hope to do.

Tonight, my wise old man told me that I inspired someone. Just that one person makes it all worth it. That is what this is all about. He told me that life is about finding purpose. Once you find that purpose, you can find something that you're good at. Only great things can come from then on. I truly think that God put me on this Earth to connect people through my eloquence with words. I don't know why I have never realized how powerful my words can be, but I know they are. Even just to one person is enough for me. I hope that whoever decided to read this lengthy post, ( you're amazing and I appreciate it more than you know) can use my words of encouragement to help them set out on a journey to find their purpose just as I did. Even if you might feel vunerable or like you don't matter, you do and every person in this world that finds their purpose will make it that much better. The world needs people like you.

BTW: If you took the time to read this then thank you. Thank you so much for sticking with me and supporting me even through my midnight rants. I feel incredibly inspired and thankful for the life I live and the opportunity I have to share my purpose. If you enjoy this, please help me get it out there to more people so I can help impact them as well. Follow my Instagram account, https://www.instagram.com/for_the_love_of_writing_/

Goodnight my loves.

XO- Sydney Lauren