You've Got a Friend in Me

I have never been the girl with a lot of friends. I have always thought of myself as a nice, genuine, sentimental, and caring person. I have battled a constant struggle over why I could never find a best friend that would just stay. A best friend is something I have always yearned for in my life. It has always been that missing piece. Throughout high school, I never fit in with a specific "group" that I could call my own. I remember crying myself to sleep almost every night for months because I wondered what was wrong with me. Why was I so unlovable when it came to friends? And when I did have a few girls that I could stake claims on, it was me always begging and pleading with them to want to do things with me. The friendship I gave was never reciprocated. I remember being jealous of my sister who had friends and then some. Most of my weekends were spent with Easton or my mom and I ate most of my lunches in high school by myself in the car. I know that might come as a surprise to some people that it was that hard for me to make friends, but I wasn't just looking for anyone. I wanted a best friend that I could laugh with, someone that I could talk to about anything without any judgements, someone who would go out of their way for me no matter what, and someone who thought of me as their best friend too. I was always comparing to the two best friends I had all through middle school. I still look back and think about how good of friends they were and what good times we had and it makes me sad to know they aren't in my life anymore and probably never will be. There have been various other friends over the years, but I never got the same back from them. They never considered me their best friends. My mom would always tell me that I would make new friends. She didn't understand that everyone already had a best friend. Even she still has her best friends in her life from junior high and high school. I had come to the terms and acceptance that I was okay with myself and I was okay with spending time with my family, my boyfriend ( I was even jealous of him), and myself. I came to love myself in this process.

Everything changed when I graduated high school and moved on to college. I moved into an apartment with five other girls that I would spend at least the next year with. This was a game changer. These "forced" friends as I call it when I'm joking around were about to change my life. I call them that because you kind of don't really have a choice in becoming friends with your roommates, but that choice to me was such a blessing in disguise. It is so much fun to be able to come home and have a girl friend there to talk to about your day. Some of the best times have been laughing on those puke brown couches in our little living room. I finally have girls that I can call my best friends so shoutout to apartment 1151 for placing us together. I have friends that are thoughtful, caring, and would stand up for anyone of us including myself. They do such thoughtful things from leaving candy on our beds to making each of our birthdays special and are constantly helping each other. I can't say that anyone of them is selfish and we are always looking out for one another. So thank you Lauren, Maddy, Summer, Abbie, and Shatara for being the best roommates/ friends that  I have ever had in my life. Thank you for being a blessing in disguise and always making me laugh.

I just want to share something that meant so much to me that Abbie did. One of our favorite fashion bloggers is visiting Utah from New York. She was having a meet and greet in Provo and I wasn't able to make it. So Abbie sent me the video below and it's safe to say I cried. I am so lucky to have such a good friend. Thanks for sharing your love of fashion bloggers, Disneyland, and Krispy Kreme donuts and always thinking of me AD. To any of you out there that feel lonely or unlovable because you don't have a good group of friends. You will find them I promise. I hope my story gives you hope. Friends are special and the best ones are hard to come by and roommates are a God sent!

https://www.facebook.com/sydney.snelten/videos/vb.100000172134064/1241588319190227/?type=2&theater&notif_t=like

Here's the link to my Facebook for the video. For any of you who don't know, this is a fashion blogger Amber Fillerup Clark. She's amazing and thank you for the shoutout!!! I'm totally fan girling right now. Hope you all have an awesome Super Bowl weekend because according to Americans, that's a holiday.

XO- Sydney Lauren